Last Ramadhan

Last ramadhan, you and me were spending time together - bonding
this year's ramadhan, we were not even talking

last ramadhan, you and me were smiling to each other
this year's ramadhan, we were not even together

last ramadhan, you and me were missing each other

its amazing how one thing takes over another
without us having time to bother
perhaps because we were busy being loved
or perhaps we were just taking things for granted.

or perhaps, that's what i thought.

HUMPTY FATTY DUMPTY

when a fat girl falls down

she shook the entire ground

although many were disturbed by the loud sound

no one would give her a damn

Comp Lab 1

180412

Dissertation Doom

theories ! theories !

Stories and Studies.

stress ! stress !

Sleepless nights

Everyday is Monday blues

all this

for a book of thesis

190413

mikro6

break broke broken

how to break a friendship that's not made of glass?

the kind of question i like to ask

especially at night before i close my eyes

if breaking means healing

if healing means losing

if losing means nothing

then why break the starting

which doesn't change the ending?

how to break a friendship that's not made of glass?

the kind of question (again) i like to ask

as i turn my back and make them my past

to break is to forget

to eventually create the heartache

of those who we forgo to the past

and for me to be alone at last

i'll break myself

like how i broke what i used to have

how to break a friendship that's not made of glass?

i just did

..........by doing this.

130313 kul/twu diverted bki

GGGE6383

tick tock, tick tock
rain drip, rain drop
class has long started
but no one in sight

tick tock, tick tock
rain kepp on drip and drop
class cancel, let's all just stop

26/4

hades' calling

hades
i hear you calling
are you going with me?
i hear hades calling
this year hades calling in pairs
you and me
hands in hands
together

its gonna be okay soon
its goona be over soon


   if Hades loves me so, why wont he let me sleep ? 

more than meets the eye

Thought of you that counts
Especially in the mid of the nights
So keep on missing in every moments
Leaving me again more than once

200213 -FPEND

pending date

met a guy, who said 'Jom'
skeptical at first, but decided to give it a try
nothing out of the ordinary
but there's just that something in between

always missing in action
both me and him
sometimes ten minutes ago.
other times up to two hours ago.
most of the time either offline or online, this two.

planning for a hang out session real soon.

Shish Apple Mint

it was supposed to be a short night out
meeting the sixters, having dinner
somewhere nice, that we were familiar

although it was a supper for six
but came only five, as one had an exam to sit
show must go on, they say
five empty tummy promised to be filled.
as one was away but never forgotten.

211212 - danau kota

A Member of the Dead Poets Society

when i lost my phone the other day.
half of me was put aside, lonely

when i lost my phone the other day
i lost together my poetic words far far away
and with that too,
half of me was laid to rest

Eidul Adha 2012

first too many

that first puff wasn't actually my first
but truth to be told, the first in many months
but somehow the first was intended to be my last
as the first never tasted the same like my first's first.

that first puff brought back my first memories to mind
with those first friends I met, on a first night outing.
But that night was not our first meeting -
but the first for its surrounding

i could not recall our first moment, our first flavor
for each first, was actually our first's first.
first flavor, first additional, and first demand
first and last, first and last, never first then second

so tonight was the first night
that first puff with them first time company
and in the first moment was also the first time -
puffing without the first memory
happening again.

how many first we had, will always stay as the first
but like all firsts, it will eventually meet an end

but first thing first, i need to end this first
to find a new first, so that i can stop the first
from becoming absurd and meaningless -
like how it has become now
for the first time i doubt the first because -
even the spelling of the first now no longer makes sense

and so all the firsts shall stop at this end.

211212.

universe

I am every mother in law's dream son
I am every doctor's favorite patient
I am every teacher's best student

I am everything they want me to be

I want everything that evolves you
'coz I am nothing if everything is not you

14 Jan 2013

A Letter to a Stranger

Hi,

This is awkward

As I only know your name

As I turn my swift to the main road

And it’s only your first-syllable word

But why am I writing this to you

When only your name i know

When I doubt your presence for tomorrow

When everything else is unsure

This is the third stanza

And I’m still not out of words

With questions unanswered,

And more stories still unheard

Please don’t leave me feeling hurt

When I come back afterward

So I’m writing you this letter

As strange as it seems writing to a stranger

I need to tell you at least anything, if not everything

That I need to change that status from nothing

-to something.

If I ask you not to leave, call me a selfish bitch please.

I hope when you get this letter

You’ll read it the same way I wrote it.

I miss you, Stranger.

(NIOSH 9JAN13)

IFS

if we had something, i wouldn't be doing all the asking
if we had something, i would have tell you of my joy and sorrows
if we had something, i would have claim you all my right as a lover
if we had something, i wouldn't be loathing and complaining


if only we had something, 
this wouldn't be written.

asthma sleep

deer sleep

will you make sure

that ill breathe properly

til dawn is here ?

dear sleep

will you make sure

that my lungs will live

to see my loved ones later ?

dear sleep

at this point i am all but unsure.

so please be kind

please be safe

im not ready to sleep forever

the amateur bird catcher

he was busy engrossing on the floor

hands were focusing fixing strands of straw

clad only in short pants, it was a hot day

and he was setting up a bird trap prey

he waited for the birds to be fooled

to fly down and enter the trap filled with food

while waiting, he lit a cigar and puff

and as he impatiently waited, he let out some huffs

and he waited and waited

and the day got heated and heated

in the end, he did not get the birds

and he missed his Friday prayers

and for being too engrossed watching him

i missed mine too.

28.10.11 1345

D Goodbye

Never thought i would break down like this

after 78 days being together

it came to the end, the goodbye

and i broke down like i never did

he say she say

they say

im so into you

what they say

is absolutely true

the dreams i dream

some write to forget

others talk just to brag

while most sleep when they're sad

but i

love you to remember

to hold on to life when you are the purpose

not i

love you to brag

only of how loyal one can stay on for so long

only i

love you to escape

from the harsh reality where i know

in dreams can i only make you love me back

in dreams can i only make you love me back

in dreams can i make you mine.